Patience

Patience.

When it comes to projects; patience is not my best friend. I really like to see end results, and working on things that I'm not that good or skilled at drives me NUTS. The Lord is sweetly working on my heart, though, and my patience has grown.

I was listening to the audiobook for Francis & Lisa Chan's book, 'You & Me Forever,' Francis said, "When we both make it our goal to love each other with the love of Christ, the conflicts we have regarding roles and responsibilities dissipate. If I am earnestly seeking Lisa’s good before my own, I don’t find it insulting or even inconvenient that I am supposed to serve her and sacrifice on her behalf. It’s just obvious. It’s natural. And if Lisa cares for me above herself, it is obvious she would want to support my vision for ministry and life above her own. Imagine a marriage—or any relationship, for that matter—where both parties are trying desperately to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10)."

You might be thinking, 'Jenny? Why are you quoting a marriage book when you're talking about working on projects?' Here is why: I'm learning to serve. I'm learning that in serving there is no focus on self. With no focus on self, I have no reason to whine or complain or get impatient when things are taking longer, or are harder than I was anticipating.

So I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm letting the Lord help me focus on Him and serving.

Sometimes serving looks like acknowledging that my son is waking up really really hungry (at 6:15 am) and doesn't understand why his stomach hurts, so he's whining for cereal. Instead of being upset that he has inconvenienced me by waking me up 2 hours earlier than the normal time I get up and I feed him cereal and take care of his little growing body.

Sometimes serving is knowing that God has called me to something specific and I need to finish it. I need to cross all my 't's and dot all my 'i's. This isn't a matter of convenience. This is a matter of putting myself and my "JUST GET IT DONE" attitude down, and moving at the pace that needs to be moved.

Sometimes serving is setting it all down and having coffee with my husband, playing a board game, or just chatting about dreams.

I could go on and on about what serving looks like, but I want to ask you, what does serving look like in your world? Where does 'self' creep in and make things irritating, inconvenient, or hard? The moment you change your perspective from 'self' to 'serve,' everything changes.

I'm finishing up a 30-day devotional called 'Nurturing the Neglected'. I'm really excited about it, but it has been months of planning and growing. I thought this was something I could just whip together, so you can imagine my surprise when it went from "this will be easy" to actual work. But here I am, serving. I'm picking up my computer and I'm typing. I'm studying the best way to publish. I ordered paper swatches so I could see which paper is best. I've researched printing and pricing. I'm working with one of the sweetest and most talented hand-lettering artists; Jess from Bless the Messy. I'm working hard, and I'm reminding myself I have something to say with this mug I got from Storyline Conference in 2015. God is doing big things, and I'm so so excited to share this with you.
Love to you all,
Jenny

Year 26.

My birthday is today.

I'm officially 27. 

Let me tell you, this year is already off to a MUCH better start than last year.

Last year, on June 30th, I was admitted into the hospital. I spent the next 7 days sitting in a hospital bed, for the second time in a 1.5 month period. 

As many know, in April of 2014, I gave birth to our amazing little boy in our home. If you haven't, and you want to, you can read about the birth story by [clicking here]. Everything went perfect. It was long... but one of the most amazing things I've ever been a part of. I'm so thankful I had that experience and will do it over again, in a heartbeat, if that is what God directs us to do with our future children.

Moments after Little ATJ was born. Just perfect.

Three weeks after giving birth to ATJ, I began to feel really, really sick. I was so sore in my abdomen, and I just believed that I was having a normal postpartum experience. This was my first baby, how was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to reel in pain if you hit a bump on the road while you're driving in the car? After two weeks of the pain getting worse and worse, along with me feeling drained to the point of needing to sleep all the time, while feeling miserable because I just wanted to be better and be with my baby, I ended up in Urgent Care. On May 25th I was admitted into the hospital. I was told I had abscesses in both of my ovaries, and that they needed to be drained.

(Just a side note; the doctors said they had no idea when or where this originated, and did not believe it was related in any way to me having a homebirth)

My amazing husband, sleeping in a chair so he could stay with me.

This is where I began to see the hand of God over me. Here I thought He'd left me out to dry... when in reality He'd been there all along. I was told, at this point, that my doctors were so surprised I hadn't gone septic; in which case I would have most likely died. When they drained my ovaries they pulled out 150mL from my right ovary, and 115mL from the other. That is over FIVE oz from one and almost FOUR oz from the other! The average ovaries range from the size of a nickel to the size of a quarter... and mine were holding about half a cup of fluid in each! Talk about the hand of God protecting me!

The doctors wanted to do a full hysterectomy. They wanted to take away my ability to have children. I know that there have been many women who have gone through this, but I knew this was not the thing for me to do. I KNEW that God told me I would birth more children, and I had no doubt in that. I declined to surgery and chose antibiotics. Although my doctor was rather skeptical, he heeded my request and only gave me the antibiotics.

I spent the week getting better and better, I couldn't BELIEVE how much better I felt. I had seriously forgotten what it felt like to feel well. It's an amazing thing when you begin to feel healthy again! Everything got back to normal & they released me from the hospital. I had some after surgery care to do, but I was SO HAPPY to be done with everything. My summer could officially begin!

One of my favorite pictures of me with my little goofball. We went and watched Daddy's soccer game!

Then, as I said when I started this post... June 30th came. I was told, when checking out of the hospital after my first visit, that I needed to make sure I didn't spike any fevers. This would imply that an infection was back and I needed to come in right away.

That day I was at my grandparents and I just felt so warm. I checked my temperature and I was at a temp of 102. I called the doctor to let them know, and they told me I needed to come in right away. We left for the clinic and I was just praying that I wouldn't need to be admitted again. It was my birthday the next day! I felt totally fine, besides this little fever. I was desperate and angry, crying out to God to make it better so I wouldn't have to be admitted and miss out on another week of summer.

Tears welled up in my eyes as my doctor said, "I'm really sorry, but I really don't think we can let you leave. We need to admit you into the hospital again." Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. Those were words to describe how I was feeling. Why? Why wasn't it gone? Did I not have enough faith? Was I doing something wrong? Why??? And seriously, WHY ON THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY???

I was thankful my sweet baby could be in the hospital with me so often. I missed him!

Again, my doctor wanted to do a hysterectomy. And again, I KNEW this was not was I was supposed to do. I told him I would do antibiotics for as long as I needed, but I did not want the surgery.

I spent the next 7 days praying and seeking God on why I was still in there. The question slowly started turning from "Why am I here?" to "What is the glory this is going to bring You?" Not because I doubted there would be glory brought to God, but because I was truly becoming excited that I was going to see some amazing things come from this. God is not the one who brought sickness upon me, the Bible says that God only gives us life, and life to the absolute fullest (John 10:10). I knew that God was going to be able to take this, and turn it around for His good (Romans 8:28). I became exceedingly excited to see what it was.

I was released from the hospital on July 7th. This time, I knew I wasn't going to be going back. I had full confidence that things were over and done with. Even if there was small traces of everything currently in my body, I would not be going back for another stay in the hospital. I would be finishing out my antibiotics and not going to anymore doctor appointments. I was through with this issue.

Taken by Joel on the day I got home from the hospital for the second time. I was so happy to be outside!

I was on antibiotics for a full 6 months before everything was cleared and I could "take the leap of faith" and go off of them. My doctor said we would just have to see if I was in the clear, or if I would need to, someday, get a hysterectomy to guarantee everything was done. He informed me that he doesn't believe I'll ever be able to have children again. He believes that my reproductive system is too damaged to even get pregnant. I'm not concerned. I've been assured by my Heavenly Father that I'll have more little ones, and I'm excited to one day send my doctor a birth announcement; thanking him for listening to me when I said I didn't want the hysterectomy.

The story doesn't end here.

A couple months back I began feeling a tenderness in my abdomen again. It was a familiar, dull pain that I recognized instantly. I knew I had something going on in my ovaries. This time though, I prayed about it and felt led to see a naturalist doctor who specializes in dealing with infections. He gave me instructions on things to cut out of my diet so that I could fully kill the infection, officially getting rid of whatever was there and knowing that they were dead and gone... not to come back. It's not a permanent diet change, but a temporary one, only to be done until the infection is gone.

Yesterday, I received an official "you are done!" from my doctor. I no longer have any infection in any of my reproductive system. I am set. I am ready to go. I can KNOW that I am cleared up. I'm not wondering if, someday, I'll begin to feel that pain again. I know that it is gone. I know that I am healed, healthy and whole.

There are so many things that I feel I'm leaving out of the story. I'll write about them, someday, if I'm supposed to. But I know this:

Last year, on June 30th, I was being admitted into the hospital for the second time, for an issue that was supposedly cleared up and done with. I had gone through a minor surgery and I had been on antibiotics for about a month already, yet none of this had fixed the issue.

This year, on June 30th, I was told I don't need to be concerned about it again. I spent 6 weeks watching what I was eating and taking natural herbs and vitamins. I know that my body is back to the way it should be. I have no doubts or questions.

God created our bodies to be amazing instruments. I found a doctor who knows how to read the signs and symptoms our bodies are giving and works with it to kill off the bad and continue to produce more of the good.

This year is off to a much better start. God has given me the gift of a beautiful testimony from something that looked so bleak. I'm able to excitedly say that I'm clean. My body is whole. I've seen God work and take care of me and my family. I'm so excited to see what's next.

Year 27, you're going to be a good one. I'm ready for you.

I know I just used this photo in another post, but it's the perfect representation of how I'm feeling about this next year.

Until next time,
Jenny

...dance until we die.

I have a tattoo.
Actually, I have two tattoos.
But for the sake of this blog post, we're starting with, 

"I have a tattoo."

Taken by Natasha Brainard with the iPhone 6

The tattoo was thought up about 7 years ago with one of my best friends: Abby. I also refer to her as Schmabs, in case that comes up later. 

Abby poses for me when we're having a friend date and I find a new photography spot I want to try out.

Anyways, Abby and I had decided years ago to get a tattoo using our favorite line from our favorite road tripping song, Say This Sooner by The Almost (watch the music video here). The line goes, "I love the way that we laugh until we cry... dance until we die." Abby is always laughing, and I'm always dancing around. We decided that would be perfect for us.

Fast forward 7 years... we FINALLY went and got the tattoos together! (At least we knew we wanted really wanted them!)

Getting my tattoo at Just Another Hole in Tulsa, OK!

It's the perfect song for us, and I'm so happy we got it. They're our Best Friend tattoos, and it's all cute and stuff.

BUT.

There is another reason this line applies so much to my life.

I can't tell you how many times God has used my life as an example of a dance.

I love dance. I've been obsessed with ballet since I was the age of 3. It only makes sense that something that has always peaked my interest would be the way God decides to communicate love and a relationship with Him.

Taken by Natasha Brainard with the iPhone 6 (in the most dreamy lighting tonight!)

If I choose to do this dance called 'life' all on my own, it'll probably turn out alright. I'm sure it'll have some pretty parts, and maybe even bring forth an applause or two. I'm sure it would result in countless hours of trying to figure out exactly how to get things done and just how to make sure I do every step just right. It would be a lonely dance, as I'd always be trying to show just how good I really am. Which, honestly, means no one else can join... as they may take away the spotlight.

But, if I choose to do this dance called 'life' with the Master Choreographer; not only will my steps be made for me, with every twirl and step in perfect rhythm; setting me up for the next step. But I'll also be dancing with a world full of people who have been placed in my life at the exact time that I need them to dance with me, beside me, or just on the stage with me.

I'm learning that my life was meant to be choreographed. I'm made to dance with others. I'm made to allow my God to lead me in the most beautiful dance I could ever be a part of. People are going to step in and step out. Some people will step into my life and dance the rest of my dance with me. Some will only be here for a bit. The purpose of my dance is to create a beautiful piece of art that people will watch and see nothing but the Creator.

I want to reflect God in everything I do. I want to respond to people in the way that God would respond to people. I want to dance with people just as God leads me to dance with people.

This tattoo is a reminder of that.

Taken by Natasha Brainard with the iPhone 6

Every time I see this tattoo I'm reminded that my life is not meant to be my own. I don't want to have a "one hit wonder" type of life. I don't want the art and dance steps of it to fade as generations come and go after me. I want every step that I took here on earth to have been a part of the dance that set up someone else for their part. When I can dance with the One who knows the end from the beginning, why wouldn't I want to? I can know that every step will be exactly when and where it should be. I can know that this dance is not my own. It's to reflect the art of my Creator... and that's what I intend to do.

You've probably heard the saying, "Dance like nobody's watching." I like that saying. I realize, for most people, it means that where they'd normally feel weird, they should just do it like no one cares.

But I like to dance like I'm being watched. Dance like I'm being watched by my Heavenly Father. Just like a little girl will put on a dress and twirl for her Daddy, or for anyone who will watch. 

She feels beautiful. She feels loved. She feels like she is something.

I want to live my life beautifully. I want to live my life loved. I want to live my life as something.

And that is why I will dance until I die.

Until next time,

Jenny

Same Blog. New Name. New Way of Thinking.

'Ok... breathe.' 

The thought that goes through my head as I begin to write this post.

I've started writing this blog so many times with high hopes of being a diligent blogger; one who has a set schedule and will always post right on time with a lot of photos of her life and a detailed breakdown of exactly how every wonderful moment went. I've failed. I've failed that so SO many times.

If you look at the blog archive list, you'll see I started this in 2009. My first blog post was on December 10th, 2009. In the nearly five and a half years I've had this blog, I've posted a total of 39 times. In the 64 months I've had this blog... I've posted thirty nine times. My goals have not happened, my ideas have not continued, they've all died out when I lose some sort of motivation or get derailed in the tiniest bit.

But this time, it's different.

Let me tell you why it's different. This time, I'm not overwhelmed by the idea of posting. I've learned life is lived one day at a time. I've let the scripture, Matthew 6:34, sink into my heart - " Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." I've realized that I am going to take this day to day. I'm going to miss a blog post or two... or twenty. I'm going to follow leading and be diligent every single day. Not diligent to this blog. Not diligent to my ideas. Diligent to my God.

My family on Easter Sunday

I've changed the name of my blog. Its now called 'Rooted Nomadic Heart.'

Let me explain this oxymoron of a name:

rooted: [roo-tid, roo t-id]

adjective

firmly implanted (often used in combination): a deep-rooted belief.

nomad: [nō-ˌmad]

noun

a member of a people who have no fixed residence but move from place to place usually seasonally and within a well-defined territory.

My heart is rooted deeply in what I believe. I know that I was created by God and that He has a plan and a purpose for my life. I know that because of Adam & Eve's fall in the Garden of Eden, I was not worthy of saving, not worthy of a relationship. God, being the amazing wonderful God that He is, sent his only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for me so that I could be made perfect & sinless in the eyes of God. I know that Jesus was dead for three days, but rose again and is seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. Because I acknowledge that Christ died for my sins and rose again, and because I have said that He is my Lord & Savior, I get to spend all of eternity in Heaven. These are things I know. These are things I'm rooted in.

I do not know where I'm going in life. I have ideas and dreams. But I've learned that my life's dance is best led by the Father. I've learned to allow Him to move me from where I am now, to the place that I'm supposed to be tomorrow, next week, next year. My heart is open to what He has for me. My life is His. I will be moving about in life in the well-defined territory of His written & spoken word. 

My life is in His hands. I've found that the best place to be is right with Him. He knows the end from the beginning, He knows my every thought & dream. I'm loving this journey. And now, I'm sharing my journey with you.

Until I write again,

Jenny

365 Challenge // Day 8

I love Minnesota 

 

www.jenniferchristi.com

Canon 5D Mark ii:

ISO 500, 26mm, Aperture f/8, 1/2500

Edited in Lightroom 3

365 Challenge // Day 6

So, I realize I'm not actually posting ON day 6... but I will say that I did photograph this on day 6! I haven't had time up until today to post my photos from the last few days!

I found a Bower Mirror Lens in a bin while I was prepping for a garage sale. I got this lens in a kit I bought years ago and I haven't used it because it didn't fit any of my cameras... UNTIL I decided to try it out on a film camera of mine! I found out that the mirror lens fits on my Canon AE-1 Program! Woohoo!

So I went out, tested the lens by driving around town and taking some shots. I got a little impatient and after 15 shots took the roll of film to the one-hour photo at a local drug store. Here is one of my favorites! A photo of a Weeping Willow.

www.jenniferchristi.com

Canon AE-1 Program

Shot in the Program Setting

Scanned in from print, so the quality isn't as great

...life lessons in the little things...

So I decided I wanted to start blogging... mainly because I'm always getting these little revelations and want to share them. God is always showing me so many cool little things... I've so many already. Who knows... maybe this blog will end up being a little sermon site... haha. I'll be trying to figure out what to preach on and just go grab one of my blogs. =) God shows me things in the most random situations... pictures.... people... videos..... what have you. I wanna write em down and maybe you'll get something out of it too! 

Here is one of my favorite photos... I took it way back in the day... probably about 2005... not actually that long ago. =) Anyways... There is this old old barbeque in our backyard. Apparently my great grandfather built it. As long as I can remember my sister and I sat on this thing and played on it and around it. Using it to hold as a wall to our forts. I never saw it used as a barbeque. But my dad remembers days of it being used to make burgers and such. Anyways... as I grew older the bricks began to decay and the center began to fall out. We could no longer sit on it or jump off it because it may just fall apart under us. It sat there.... alone.... dying.... not being used for anything. Simply taking up space in the backyard. Until one sunny fall day when I stepped outside.... and there were these flowers.... spilling out from the center of this old, falling apart, brick barbeque. What true beauty this was. This barbeque that sat there.... thought to never be used again... was now filled with some of the most simple, beautiful creation on God's earth, flowers.

The reason this sticks out to me so much now is because I believe it pertains to our life in so many ways! As we grow from a small child to an elder we pass through many stages. We walk through so many doors God opens for us. We don't have the same purpose from beginning to end. We're used for so many different things. There are probably times where we feel like we're totally useless... like we're stuck in between here and there... like we're just waiting, wondering, if that next goal and dream is just around the corner. At those times that we feel we can no longer be used for anything... whether it be because we've messed up... or we've just grown old and tired... we don't realize that inside us a seed has been planted for another new beginning. Our focus is shifting... we're being used as a different vessel. And most times we'll be used in ways one would never expect.... just like this barbeque.... going from being used to make delicious lunches and dinners.... to being used as a play tower, to jump off and rely on as a sturdy wall... to being used as a flower pot. Of all things.... a flower pot... something to bring such beauty to our backyard landscape. 

So whether you're just beginning... or you're between here and there... know you've got a purpose. Know there is something inside... something.... that is beautiful.