Nurturing the Neglected: Book Coming Soon

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am in the process of finalizing my book: Nurturing the Neglected. This book is a 30-day guide meant to show you how to intentionally love yourself.

Do you want to change something in your world? Do you want to do something that leaves a mark? A beautiful legacy can only come from a soul that has been tended to. To do this, you need to care for yourself. You need to love you. You need to nurture the neglected parts of your body, spirit, and soul.

Nurturing the Neglected isn't meant to be a full-blown 30-Day Devotional. Instead, it's meant to be a 30-Day Inspirational. This book is simply the skeleton to allow God to build on and add life to. Instead of spoon-feeding you an entire meal I want to give you the ingredients to make a life that you love—that sustains you, and that nourishes your soul. This book won't be some easy read-it-and-you're-done-for-the-day kind of book. Instead, it's meant to inspire you, to lead you to God, to create a dissatisfaction in your "normal," so you run to the arms of your Creator to learn His normal.

I am to beyond excited to share this book with everyone. In a week or two I'll be ordering my proof. After I receive my proof, I'll be sharing more about the book and launching a pre-order sale with the opportunity to get lots of extra little goodies.

Words cannot describe my gratitude in knowing the support I've been receiving and the prayers that have been said for me in this process. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and push me, even when I'm uncomfortable and want to give up. I have grown so much during this process.

I want to say a special thank you to Greg & Jess Antonow, of Bless the Messy. They have been working so hard and long with me to get everything just right with all the illustrations for the book. I had a vision, and they brought it to life. You guys are AMAZING. (Go check out their work!)

Love to you all,

Jenny

Patience

Patience.

When it comes to projects; patience is not my best friend. I really like to see end results, and working on things that I'm not that good or skilled at drives me NUTS. The Lord is sweetly working on my heart, though, and my patience has grown.

I was listening to the audiobook for Francis & Lisa Chan's book, 'You & Me Forever,' Francis said, "When we both make it our goal to love each other with the love of Christ, the conflicts we have regarding roles and responsibilities dissipate. If I am earnestly seeking Lisa’s good before my own, I don’t find it insulting or even inconvenient that I am supposed to serve her and sacrifice on her behalf. It’s just obvious. It’s natural. And if Lisa cares for me above herself, it is obvious she would want to support my vision for ministry and life above her own. Imagine a marriage—or any relationship, for that matter—where both parties are trying desperately to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10)."

You might be thinking, 'Jenny? Why are you quoting a marriage book when you're talking about working on projects?' Here is why: I'm learning to serve. I'm learning that in serving there is no focus on self. With no focus on self, I have no reason to whine or complain or get impatient when things are taking longer, or are harder than I was anticipating.

So I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm letting the Lord help me focus on Him and serving.

Sometimes serving looks like acknowledging that my son is waking up really really hungry (at 6:15 am) and doesn't understand why his stomach hurts, so he's whining for cereal. Instead of being upset that he has inconvenienced me by waking me up 2 hours earlier than the normal time I get up and I feed him cereal and take care of his little growing body.

Sometimes serving is knowing that God has called me to something specific and I need to finish it. I need to cross all my 't's and dot all my 'i's. This isn't a matter of convenience. This is a matter of putting myself and my "JUST GET IT DONE" attitude down, and moving at the pace that needs to be moved.

Sometimes serving is setting it all down and having coffee with my husband, playing a board game, or just chatting about dreams.

I could go on and on about what serving looks like, but I want to ask you, what does serving look like in your world? Where does 'self' creep in and make things irritating, inconvenient, or hard? The moment you change your perspective from 'self' to 'serve,' everything changes.

I'm finishing up a 30-day devotional called 'Nurturing the Neglected'. I'm really excited about it, but it has been months of planning and growing. I thought this was something I could just whip together, so you can imagine my surprise when it went from "this will be easy" to actual work. But here I am, serving. I'm picking up my computer and I'm typing. I'm studying the best way to publish. I ordered paper swatches so I could see which paper is best. I've researched printing and pricing. I'm working with one of the sweetest and most talented hand-lettering artists; Jess from Bless the Messy. I'm working hard, and I'm reminding myself I have something to say with this mug I got from Storyline Conference in 2015. God is doing big things, and I'm so so excited to share this with you.
Love to you all,
Jenny

Stronger Than Yesterday

I'm a first-but-actually-final-draft kind of person. In school I would write essays on perfectly clean notebook paper, and if I messed something up and/or needed to erase I'd tear the page out and start the whole thing over. A rough draft was not an option. I expected perfection of myself every time.

What a terrible way to choose to live life. Even though school is long behind me, I've found myself living with this mentality as an adult. If something I do doesn't exceed my expectations or go off without a hitch, I'll basically scrap the idea and start new. This leaves me running in circles trying to find that ONE THING that I'll be really, really, REALLY good at.

Wait, scratch that.

I mean PERFECT at.

This year has been a year of refocus for me. A year of changing the way I think, the way I move forward in life. At the beginning of this year God brought me to Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." What are these things that are added? If you go back a few verses you'll find Jesus talking about people being concerned about what they'll eat, or how they'll be clothed. Jesus is saying that if we truly seek God first, we won't be distracted by "things" or how we think is the best way to obtain these things. Are they necessary? Yes! But our Heavenly Father takes care of these things for us when we are following the direction He has for us.

This has been 2016 for me. He told me to seek Him first.

There have been weeks that I've been distracted by the things around me; by the work, by the friends, by the relationships. This isn't to say that I'm not to do these things, but that I'm not focusing on what I'm supposed to be, I am focusing on these things. When we focus on one thing, we aren't able to focus on other things at the same time. This is what God is trying to tell us, when I focus on Him, my life comes together like a beautiful puzzle.

The 'first-but-actually-final-draft kind of person' comes out in me when I get distracted. I think, "Why bother? I screwed it up. I lost my focus. I suck at this. Now I need to start all over." And I want to be done. But God, in His ever so gentle way, tells me to refocus. He reminds me that I've learned more; that I know more. He reminds me that I'm stronger than yesterday, I'm not at square one. I've come so far in this journey and will only continue to advance.

I will continue to refocus when He ever so gently calls my name. And the more I learn to just refocus, and not beat myself up, the quicker the refocus will happen every time. I'll be able to focus on Him longer before I get distracted again. I will continue to put Him first.

I am stronger than yesterday.

Until next time,
Jenny 

I Try Too Hard

I hadn't seen my friend, Bethany, in what felt like years. I was so so excited to sit down at Perkins and talk with her about life; hear how Rochester, NY was treating her, and how everything was going on her end.

She was there when I arrived, and I slid into the booth with her. We ordered some food and I started to fill her in on everything that was happening. God had been doing SO many things in my life, and I just had to tell her about all of the amazing things He was showing me. She'd take a turn to say something that God had been whispering to her heart, and it would remind me of something else He'd recently done in my life, so I'd tell her about that too.

The time with her was so much fun. We laughed. We hugged. We enjoyed one another's company. We said our goodbyes and as I got into my car my heart sank as I had a terrible realization; I selfishly hogged that entire conversation.

I had wanted, so badly, to tell her about all the amazing things going on in my life that I had hardly given her time to open her heart up about one of the things God was doing in hers.

I've done a lot of thinking about this concept, since this moment of realization I had about 8 years ago. It wasn't until today that I realized why.

I try too hard.

I was in my kitchen today, just cleaning, when all of the sudden the Lord whispered to me, gently, "You're too much."

Instantly my instagram profile came into my mind.

"If you want to view paradise, open up your eyes and view it." // Living a story that matters. // Wife. Mom to #LittleATJ. Pastor. Traveler. Photog. 

That's what my description read.

In 25 words I tried to get out everything about who I am. I tried to get anyone who wants to know me or understand me and my heart in one description. I tried to get you to see me. I tried...

I try.

I have seen this as a pattern in my life. I so badly want to make sure that everyone understands my heart. I want to validate myself. I want people to know I'm genuine. I want to make everyone see my intentions are good.

I try.

When someone has come against me and who I am, or questions my integrity, I am so quick to try to show them they're wrong. I will go above and beyond to show them, to GIVE THEM PROOF that my heart was never to hurt anyone. I don't want to be misread, misunderstood, and mistaken for something wrong.

I try.

Yesterday I was reading about Jesus' crucifixion. In Matthew 27:39-44 it says, "Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’" In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him."

It hit me that if JESUS CHRIST, the SON OF GOD had people who came against Him, doubting Him and questioning His heart, His motives, Him, how in the world would I think that people wouldn't question me???

I realized I don't need to try.

I don't need to explain myself to you. I don't need to tell you about all the good things God is doing in my life to make sure that you believe me. I don't need to try to push my heart out there and say, "But look!!! I promise I'm trying to take care of it as best as I can!"

I don't need to try.

I am a daughter of the King. I am loved by the Holy Creator. I am led by Holy Spirit. I am an open vessel before Him.

That is before all other things.

It is out of this that you'll hear me talk about how amazing my God is. It is out of this that you'll see me living my life. It's no longer out of the desire to prove something to you.

It's out of the love that He's already proven to me.

Until next time,
Jenny

Living Eulogy // Cassandra Carrascosa

Our parents met when I was a year and a half old. We've been best friends ever since.

I'm turning 28 in a couple months...

That's just over 26 years that I've known this woman. WHAT???

To have 26 years of memories, laughter, crying and everything in between makes it quite difficult to nail it down to a blog post that isn't a novel.... but I shall try. *Side note: I was hoping to find some childhood photos of us... but my mom thinks they're all in their storage unit. So I did what I could.

Here's us being awesome teenagers!

You'll never find someone like Cassie if you search the whole world over. Cassie is one of the most hard working, artistically driven women I know. She has a vision and a passion that is unlike any I've ever seen. Cassie has pushed and worked so hard to get to where she is, and there are only more amazing things coming in the future.

Cassie has a passion for fine art. More specifically, she has a passion for fine art photography. She attended the Academy of Art University online and worked her butt off to get her graduate. Not only was she putting in 40+ hours a week (I know I'm not even close to the actual number...), she got pregnant twice and had two children during her schooling. She then stayed home with them while her hubby worked a job that was 1 hour away that involved many overnights. But she pushed through and graduated in December of 2013. I got to go out to California with her for her graduation and it was so great!

Cassie & her family live in southern MN and she has had a vision to create fine art furniture pieces. Oh my GOODNESS they're amazing. To see one of her more recent pieces that she envisioned & created as a part of her 'Art With A Past Life' venture, click here. She has chased this. She works relentlessly to make her visions reality.

Cassie has inspired me in so many ways in my life. She pushes me to chase my dreams and make them happen. She shows me what a loving a nurturing mother looks like. She has taught me what it looks like to fight for relationship with your husband when it doesn't always go so smoothly, but how it's always worth it and how God makes them stronger & more in love with one another ever single time. She has always been a source of encouragement, someone who shares the love of God with me every time we talk, every time we write one another.

There are so many areas she's pushed me and inspired me... but this is the one that sticks out the most right now; her drive. Whether it be in her relationship with God, in her relationship with her husband, in her relationship with her children, or her art; she doesn't give up. She doesn't walk away. She sees a vision that has been given to her and she chases it whole-heartedly.

I love you so much Cassie, I have so many more words to say... but I don't even know how to go on and on with them right now. The gratitude I have to God for putting you in my life is something I can't contain. Thank you for all of the bits of wisdom you've given me. Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being raw, for being honest. I love you so much more than I'll ever be able to say.

With so much love,

Your BFF - Boy Friend Forever ;)

And just for old time's sake... here's one that we thought was soooooo cool.

To follow Cassie's business Facebook page and keep up with everything she's doing click here!

I Don't Have the Right to be a Parent.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I've looked at Little ATJ and thought, "Seriously... wow."

His "cheesy-grin" that he does on command.

I don't have a right to be a parent.

I have been given the gift of being a parent.

I have been entrusted in raising a little soul into an adult. What I do in his life now will help to determine who he will be forever.

One of my favorite photos captured by Joy Studios this last fall

I think of the things that I value most; things that I have a harder time just lending out to people. Things that have no heart value to me, but mostly monetary. Things like my computer, our cameras, a car. These things I'm still quick to borrow to the right people, but there is still that little thing in the back of my head that says, "Wait... I'll get this back in the same shape... right?" I know they're replaceable... but there is still that quick thought.

I think of that, and then I think about how God gifts us, blesses us, trusts us, with a precious child of His. A child to nurture and take care of. A child that isn't truly ours, but the Father's.

A child.
A LIFE.
Not just a THING.

And He trusts ME. He trusts Joel and me. He has trusted us with what He values most. He trusts us with a little love that is irreplaceable.

That smacks me with a gratitude I've never felt. It overwhelms me with a sense of calling. A pulling. A challenge. Not only that. But a true satisfaction in my place in life.

I want more children. I truly desire it to the core of my being. I was made to be a momma. I know God has promised me more children. I know we will adopt someday, as well.

But if ATJ were the only child I were to ever have, I would truly be ok with that. Not just ok. But OVERWHELMINGLY FILLED WITH GRATITUDE.

I am going to give my everything into being a mother to Little ATJ. I am going to teach him to love the Lord with his whole heart, to let God direct every step. I won't teach him this through words alone, but through my everyday living.

I am going to show him how a woman of God lives and loves her husband, so that he can know what that looks like when he gets older. I'm going to teach him to let God pour through him, to love every person he comes in contact with. I'm going to show him the value he has.

I am going to live a life out of the gratefulness and the caution I feel in raising someone who is not meant for me, but for God. For the world to see Him through my son.

Wow.

What a gift that I've been given.

What a gift.

Treasure the children you've been given. Treasure the value of life you've held. You're blessed beyond measure.

Until next time,
Jenny

Living Eulogy // Kristen Verlennich

As a youth pastor, there are times that you hear people talk about how you're influencing young kids lives. As true as I know this is (I've had youth pastors who very much impacted my life), I don't think people realize how often my life is influenced by those I have the honor of having in my youth group. People don't realize that questions my youth group has raise questions for me too, pushing me to find the answers, or how watching them grow and become their own person is something that challenges me to be a better example of the type of person you should be.

I met Kristen when my brother brought her to our youth group when she was about 13. Her first time there we played the game 'Quelf' and her shy little emo self (I can say that now... right Kristen?) got so embarrassed because she had to wear red lipstick throughout the game and we didn't see her again for another year or so. She claims it had nothing to do with the lipstick... I'm not quite so sure. Thankfully, she did come back.

I'm not 100% sure what initially drew me to Kristen. It may have been her shy personality that intrigued me to get to know her more, to see who she was behind those big blue/green eyes and her sweet smile. It may have been the way she'd sit really quiet until she knew what she wanted to say was important and she'd start off softly, building more confidence as she spoke. It may have been her wonderful taste in clothing and music, listening to bands I knew in high school and college, therefore I deemed her an old soul. (I know... I'm not that old... but for reals)

Whatever it was, we bonded. She became someone I saw as more a friend than a teen in my youth group. Her drive to know God and see Him as He desires to be seen is a challenge to me every time I'm with her. She's got a smile that lights up a room, and one of the cutest laughs you'll ever hear in your life.

I've watched Kristen grow from a little emo scene kid (Kristen, I still have proof you said that... so don't try to argue me!), who didn't know who she was or what she wanted, to an amazing woman of God who is now married to the man her heart longed for. A man who treats her with kindness and grace. A man who loves her for who God created her to be.

 

I got to be a part of my sweet Kristen's wedding day this last September. My husband officiated the wedding, and my brother and I got to tell the story through photos. It was a beautiful and blessed day. One that brought many hearts together to support and love on two people who found their forever love at a young age. What a blessing to go through the majority of your life with the person God has set for you in your path at the perfect time! I'm so proud of them for pursuing God in timing and in relationship. They are two beautiful souls who have become one amazing instrument for the Lord.

Kristen, I'm so proud of you. Words cannot describe the way I feel when I think about the time I've had with you for vinyl and coffee dates, for drives to take photos, and when I watch you walk on the path God has set in front of you. You have learned how to let God guide you, and it is such a beautiful thing. I'm so so SO thankful that I could be even a small part of that. I love you so much Kristen. Thank you for being a part of my life, and for letting me be a part of yours.

Love,

Jenny

Professional photos by Jennifer Christi Photo & Video