The Longest 32.5 Hours Of My Life // The Birth Story Of LittleATJ

It was the most amazing, most difficult thing I've ever done. I felt the closest I'd ever felt to God, but also the farthest.  Consumed, by Jesus Culture, was playing in the background; over and over and over again. In a 32.5 hour timeframe, we listened to that album almost 25 times. Every time the song Obsession came on; the lyrics "Sometimes, You're further than the moon. Sometimes, You're closer than my skin." stuck out to me. I realized later its because these words felt so true to me in this exact moment. Every time I started to feel like God was far away, I would feel His arms of love wrap around me, showing me He was there. He was helping me. The scripture "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." [Isaiah 40:31] kept playing over and over again, pushing me onward, telling me I would be alright.

Joel was my strong tower during this entire process. We had read Husband-Coached Childbirth together and there were so many things that he remembered and really applied during the home birth experience. Joel was there the ENTIRE time. He didn't leave me. He didn't go sleep. He was on 2.5 hours of sleep, just like I was on 2.5 hours of sleep. I truly do not believe I cold have done this without Joel there; holding me, pressing a hot towel on my back, and touching my forehead when I was furrowing my brow... which would remind me to relax my body and let it do what it was made to do.





I will always remember the moment Little ATJ was laid on my chest. With his eyes open, he tilted his face up to me, and smiled. My thirty-second old son SMILED at me. My mom said, "Did you see that?! He just smiled at you!" which proved to me I wasn't going crazy. The moment those little lips curled up every ounce of pain I had just experienced was gone. Every hour I had just experienced contraction after contraction no longer mattered. I had my son. I had my boy. Joel and I had done it.





The amount of love that I was overwhelmed with when I held that little one in my arms was something I never expected. Here was this tiny thing, only seconds old, and my heart.... oh my heart. Every bit of me that was made for loving my child all of the sudden burst forth and just overwhelmed me.



I believe one of the most beautiful gifts that some of us can be given by God, is a child. I have learned more from Little ATJ in how to love and be loved, than by almost any other experience in my life. I am learning something new everyday. The amount of love that I feel for my son is astounding. The fact that God loves us MORE than I love Little ATJ, and the fact that God dreams bigger for us, wants more for us, and desires to bless us more than I could ever want for my child just stops me in my tracks.

Think about it.

Just stop.

And think about it.

We have felt but a fraction of the love that God has for us. Whether you are a parent or not, there is someone you love. There is someone you want the best for. There is someone that you dream big things for. This person may be you. I know that I think of big dreams, I hope for big things. Since having a child, I think of even bigger dreams for him. My desire is for Little ATJ to surpass me in quality of life. I want to give him the world. I want to teach him the love of God. I want to show him how to allow the love of God to flow freely through him to every single person he meets.

God wants that more than I do.



I do not have the capability to dream as big as God. And that is fine with me. Where would adventure or blessings or miracles in life be if I could have a dream that was achieved and done with? I am constantly surprised by the newness that is brought every day. The love I have for my child is overwhelming.

To think that God loves me more...
I'm just astounded. I'm left speechless. I'm in awe.

I thank God for this opportunity to be a parent, and I believe that God will bless us with even more littles. I believe my heart has the capability to explode with love unlike any other for every new soul God brings into our lives.

I'm excited.

Until I write again,
Jenny

*All photos were taken by Natasha of Jennifer Christi Photography

P.S. I realize that not every person will choose to, or is able to, have children. I don't believe that children are the only way to experience the overwhelming love of God. I feel that having a child has been one way in which God has chosen to show us the love He has for us. I learn by doing, by being a part of something. This is a hands on experience in the love of God for me... this is what I write about. This is where I am. This is who I was created to be.

Little ATJ Turns ONE

I cannot believe I have a one year old... this just makes me look back and think of so many amazing things that being a mother has brought forth. My son is amazing. Joel and I are so blessed. We are so so happy.

This week I'm going to post the story of our little guy, as well as some things I've learned. But for today, I'm just going to post a photo of my lovely family & I'm going to tell you about my little love.

Things Little ATJ Loves

- sweet potatoes

- chewing on his crib... and everything else he can fit his mouth on

- crawling everywhere as fast as he can

- clapping when people say "yay!"

- throwing both hands in the air when people say "Praise the Lord!"

- going through the 'obstacle course' that is the legs of our dining room table & chairs

- crawling up stairs as fast as he can

- crawling downstairs

- his best puppy friends/sisters, Milka & Brindy

- pulling Milka's tail

- playing 'how high can Mommy stack the blocks before I smack the tower over?'

- throwing his head back and fake laughing

- fake sneezing

- laughing when Mommy sneezes

- pulling Daddy's beard

- playing in the dogs' food & water

- bathtime

- playing in the dirt of the plant at Great Grandma & Grandpa's

- peekaboo

- dancing... specifically to Sugar by Maroon 5, or any Crazy Frog song

- dog kisses

Things Little ATJ Does Not Love

- really sweet fruit

- having his face wiped off

- getting clothes put on him, or taken off of him

- when someone walks out of the room that he was just interacting with

- being told he can't play in the dirt of the plant at Great Grandma & Grandpa's

Random Facts About ATJ

- He has 7 teeth; 4 on top & 3 on bottom.

- He has stood for up to 30 seconds without holding on to anything.

- He loves to walk around along furniture, but will not walk if he isn't holding to anything.

- He is very particular about music, his favorite band is Copeland. If you play Copeland when he is very upset, he will calm down almost instantly and just listen. It doesn't matter what song by them, he just loves them. He isn't a huge fan of most pop music. He loves classic rock & show tunes.

- He is VERY strong, even in upper body strength. He does some acrobatic type things with me, which I love to do as party tricks.

Our wee one is one of the biggest blessings we have ever received. We are so thankful for him and so excited to see where God brings us and where he brings our little man. We pray daily that we are always a help to the plan God has for Him, and never a hinderance. This year is the first of many daily celebrations we will have. Here's to the next 365 days!

Until I write again,

Jenny

Same Blog. New Name. New Way of Thinking.

'Ok... breathe.' 

The thought that goes through my head as I begin to write this post.

I've started writing this blog so many times with high hopes of being a diligent blogger; one who has a set schedule and will always post right on time with a lot of photos of her life and a detailed breakdown of exactly how every wonderful moment went. I've failed. I've failed that so SO many times.

If you look at the blog archive list, you'll see I started this in 2009. My first blog post was on December 10th, 2009. In the nearly five and a half years I've had this blog, I've posted a total of 39 times. In the 64 months I've had this blog... I've posted thirty nine times. My goals have not happened, my ideas have not continued, they've all died out when I lose some sort of motivation or get derailed in the tiniest bit.

But this time, it's different.

Let me tell you why it's different. This time, I'm not overwhelmed by the idea of posting. I've learned life is lived one day at a time. I've let the scripture, Matthew 6:34, sink into my heart - " Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." I've realized that I am going to take this day to day. I'm going to miss a blog post or two... or twenty. I'm going to follow leading and be diligent every single day. Not diligent to this blog. Not diligent to my ideas. Diligent to my God.

My family on Easter Sunday

I've changed the name of my blog. Its now called 'Rooted Nomadic Heart.'

Let me explain this oxymoron of a name:

rooted: [roo-tid, roo t-id]

adjective

firmly implanted (often used in combination): a deep-rooted belief.

nomad: [nō-ˌmad]

noun

a member of a people who have no fixed residence but move from place to place usually seasonally and within a well-defined territory.

My heart is rooted deeply in what I believe. I know that I was created by God and that He has a plan and a purpose for my life. I know that because of Adam & Eve's fall in the Garden of Eden, I was not worthy of saving, not worthy of a relationship. God, being the amazing wonderful God that He is, sent his only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for me so that I could be made perfect & sinless in the eyes of God. I know that Jesus was dead for three days, but rose again and is seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. Because I acknowledge that Christ died for my sins and rose again, and because I have said that He is my Lord & Savior, I get to spend all of eternity in Heaven. These are things I know. These are things I'm rooted in.

I do not know where I'm going in life. I have ideas and dreams. But I've learned that my life's dance is best led by the Father. I've learned to allow Him to move me from where I am now, to the place that I'm supposed to be tomorrow, next week, next year. My heart is open to what He has for me. My life is His. I will be moving about in life in the well-defined territory of His written & spoken word. 

My life is in His hands. I've found that the best place to be is right with Him. He knows the end from the beginning, He knows my every thought & dream. I'm loving this journey. And now, I'm sharing my journey with you.

Until I write again,

Jenny

Wrinkles.

I was going to write this as just a quick status on my photography Facebook page {click here}. But realized I had too much to say about it... so I'm going to say it here instead.

Just a quick thought for many of you out there... especially the moms and grandmas out there. I've heard so many women ask me, "Can you edit out these wrinkles?" And many times I divert the subject. Not because I'm unable to edit them... but because in most cases I choose not to. Its not a decision I make because of the time it takes to edit wrinkle.

I choose not to because, to me, wrinkles are beautiful.

Not only that, at Jennifer Christi Photography, we are about telling stories. What kind of story would we be telling if we completely changed the look of main characters?

My favorite wrinkles are the "crow's feet" and the "smile wrinkles" around the mouth.

Why? Every time you've smiled in your life, your face has left a small reminder of that joy. Every time you laughed, an imprint was made. Even if you don't remember every single smile, your face does.

I understand the point of taking care of your face, of moisturizing and of exfoliating. I'm not saying don't do that. What I'm saying is please don't be the cruelest person you'll ever meet. Don't judge yourself because you haven't kept a perfectly emotionless face your entire life. Who in the WORLD wants that?!

I've had this opinion for a long time, and I've thought to myself, "Will my opinion change when I'm older? Will I hate my wrinkles? Will I try everything I can to get rid of them? Will I edit them out of pictures of myself?" I, obviously, cannot answer this at this moment. But what I can say about it; I have some wrinkles around my mouth and eyes already. I am very proud of them. At the age of 25 I have smiled and laughed enough in my life that my face is already making a permanent imprint. I pray my smile and laugh wrinkles will only grow deeper and deeper.

Some of my favorite people in the world, who I find to be the most beautiful, have the most wonderful wrinkles around their mouths and at the corners of their eyes. The craziest thing about this is that I almost never see their wrinkles.

Why?

Because I look past them and see beyond them?

No. I don't believe you should have to look past them.

Its because they are almost always smiling.

Its only when you stop smiling that the wrinkles are noticeable. And they're there to remind you of when you were smiling.

Love,
Jenny

P.S. I realize there are many other types of wrinkles... these are just my favorites.

Realizations in Being Pregnant, Owning a Business & Learning I Can't Do This On My Own

Galatians 2:20 in the Message bible says: "I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that."

I've been going back and forth on writing this blog post... but I've just decided to buck up and write it. Then, when I decided to do that, I went back and forth on whether I should post this on my business blog - www.jenniferchristi.com - or here on my personal blog. I've decided personal will be best. I will be posting it to my business Facebook though, as I feel many of my clients/followers might have a better idea of whats going on after reading this.

For those of you who don't know... on August 11th we found this out:

Joel and I are SO EXCITED for this next chapter of our lives.

But this news has come with some unexpected changes and realizations.

Realization #1: I am not superwoman

Baby makes me slow down. Baby makes me rest BEFORE exhaustion. Baby makes me take breaks. In the past I've been able to do marathon editing, where I literally sit at my computer all day and edit and post blogs and email. I cannot do this now, which has slowed me down.

Realization #2: I need to ask for help

The business I have has multiple employees... and I need to ask them to help me. I am not able to shoot, edit and manage EVERYTHING anymore. This has been good for me to realize now, BEFORE this bundle of joy makes his/her appearance in 7ish months. I need to know that when I have a little one. I have to slow down. I have to know I can depend on everyone that works for me. That is why I hired them.

Realization #3: I love my clients

This is something I already knew. But I love them/you more than ever. So many of you have been so supportive and understanding as I transition into this new stage of life. Realizing I'm not superwoman has made me fall behind a bit as for the first few weeks I spent time trying to figure out what my body needed in order to not be sick. I hardly completed anything for at least two weeks straight and felt TERRIBLE about it... on TOP of physically feeling terrible. But as I'm adjusting my schedule and seeing new ways to get a lot done in a short amount of time, I'm getting caught back up. Thank you guys. Thank you a million times over.

Realization #4: I need to find my strength in God

I am learning that I need to come to Him daily for strength and peace in all of this. I am so excited for this blessing, and when I allow Him to direct my every path, I not only get through each day... I excel through each day. He knows me, my body & my innermost self. I am choosing daily to allow Him to help me through all of this.

I am looking forward to all of the new adventures/changes/realizations this baby is going to bring us. And I will try to keep you all updated on how things are going :)

Thank so you much!

Love, Jenny

365 Challenge // Day 8

I love Minnesota 

 

www.jenniferchristi.com

Canon 5D Mark ii:

ISO 500, 26mm, Aperture f/8, 1/2500

Edited in Lightroom 3

365 Challenge // Day 7

Confession time... This photo was NOT taken on Day 7 :(

We were holding a rummage sale on both Friday (Day 7) and Saturday (Day 8) and I literally didn't even think of bringing out the camera on Friday. So Saturday I snapped a photo that applied to what I did Day 7.

This is a photo of one of the items a friend of ours was selling at their garage sale. Its an antique Candy Store Register. So little, HEAVY and cute!

www.jenniferchristi.com

Canon 5D Mark ii:

ISO 320, 35mm, Aperture f/2.8, 1/1000

Edited in Lightroom 3