Here's the deal:
I think parenting is easy.
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| Mommy/Baby Selfies |
Am I crazy?
Am I under-qualified because I'm a mom of ONE one year old?
Do I have the most perfect baby in the world?
I don't think so.
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| Daddy teaching Little ATJ how to jump on the bed. |
I think parenting is easy; because I can't imagine no longer being a parent. That would be hard.
I've felt my child's hugs. I've heard him say "Mama," "Mom" & "Ma". I've seen him light up in the morning when I pull back the curtain that hides his crib from the rest of his bedroom. I've felt so proud of him for every little milestone he's made. I've heard his giggle and my heart has swelled with joy. I've rocked him to sleep when his aching gums were breaking a new tooth through and he needed that closeness and comfort. I've seen him grow, learn and discover the world around him...
...and I can't imagine never having this again.
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| This was snapped by my beautiful friend, Cassie. So thankful for this photo. |
It's because of that mindset that parenting is easy. It's because of that perspective that the poopy diapers; the screaming in the car because he's just too hot and the air conditioning is not working; the stubborn little will that he has; all of these things are easy.
I've learned, in life, that it truly depends on your perspective.
Let me say this again.
Perspective is EVERYTHING.
One of my favorite lines of all time is from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory: "If you want to view paradise, open up your eyes and view it." What are you looking at? What are you viewing?
One night Little ATJ was so fussy. His day had been an interesting one, and he just wasn't having it anymore. He was crying about everything that went a little bit wrong. I was holding him and he would kick and move around to stop sleep from overtaking him. I took him upstairs to put him to bed because, clearly, he was tired. He laid down and instantly closed his eyes. This is a totally normal thing when he's exhausted and needs to sleep. He closes his eyes and its the end of the story. No questions asked. It's time to sleep.
Fifteen minutes passed and all of the sudden he just started crying. I was a little frustrated at this point and walked up the stairs in a huff. It had been a long day for me and I was just really looking forward to sitting and doing nothing. This clearly wasn't what was happening, and I was getting a bit irritated.
I pulled back the curtain to see him just bawling. For whatever reason, he was not happy. I picked him up out of his crib, put his pacifier in his mouth, and just rocked him. He calmed down and fell asleep almost instantly. I stood there; just staring at him. And then it hit me (again).
I realized, again, one day I will hold and cuddle him for the last time. I've thought frequently of this. Questions such as, "When will I feed him his last bottle?" have come into my thoughts while I've sat holding him with his bottle. That night I stared at him and realized that I won't always have these moments. Knowing that isn't something to mourn. It's something to rejoice in. I know I won't take for granted these little things that I will one day miss. I squeezed him closer to me and held his face close to mine. I thanked him for not going to sleep right away. I thanked my precious little boy for being a little fussy that night. I thanked my little love for letting me hold and cuddle him for an extra amount of time that day. I reminded him, a few more times, just how much I loved him.
So, instead of focusing on how hard moments are. I cherish them. I know there are so many things that will happen for the last time someday. When one day I realize that I've never done it again, I don't want to regret not cherishing it. I want to know that I was purposeful in my relationship with my son. I want to know that everything I did with him, I was fully present.
There are many things I only will have with him for a short time. And it's because of this that I stay focused on how much I love being Mom.
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| 4:30 AM while I was on a trip with him. I was going to send Joel a picture of us, saying how crazy it was that we were both awake at this moment, and he just lunges in and gave me a big kiss. It's these moments... these moments that just make my heart so warm. |
Since becoming Mom, I couldn't imagine it any other way. And that, my friends, is why I find parenting easy.
Until I write again,
Jenny
P.S. If you want to see photos of my adorable #littleATJ you can look up his hashtag on instagram, and you're welcome to follow me! @jennifurfly
