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| His "cheesy-grin" that he does on command. |
I don't have a right to be a parent.
I have been given the gift of being a parent.
I have been entrusted in raising a little soul into an adult. What I do in his life now will help to determine who he will be forever.
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| One of my favorite photos captured by Joy Studios this last fall |
I think of the things that I value most; things that I have a harder time just lending out to people. Things that have no heart value to me, but mostly monetary. Things like my computer, our cameras, a car. These things I'm still quick to borrow to the right people, but there is still that little thing in the back of my head that says, "Wait... I'll get this back in the same shape... right?" I know they're replaceable... but there is still that quick thought.
I think of that, and then I think about how God gifts us, blesses us, trusts us, with a precious child of His. A child to nurture and take care of. A child that isn't truly ours, but the Father's.
A child.
A LIFE.
Not just a THING.
And He trusts ME. He trusts Joel and me. He has trusted us with what He values most. He trusts us with a little love that is irreplaceable.
That smacks me with a gratitude I've never felt. It overwhelms me with a sense of calling. A pulling. A challenge. Not only that. But a true satisfaction in my place in life.
I want more children. I truly desire it to the core of my being. I was made to be a momma. I know God has promised me more children. I know we will adopt someday, as well.
But if ATJ were the only child I were to ever have, I would truly be ok with that. Not just ok. But OVERWHELMINGLY FILLED WITH GRATITUDE.
I am going to give my everything into being a mother to Little ATJ. I am going to teach him to love the Lord with his whole heart, to let God direct every step. I won't teach him this through words alone, but through my everyday living.
I am going to show him how a woman of God lives and loves her husband, so that he can know what that looks like when he gets older. I'm going to teach him to let God pour through him, to love every person he comes in contact with. I'm going to show him the value he has.
I am going to live a life out of the gratefulness and the caution I feel in raising someone who is not meant for me, but for God. For the world to see Him through my son.
Wow.
What a gift that I've been given.
What a gift.
Treasure the children you've been given. Treasure the value of life you've held. You're blessed beyond measure.
Until next time,
Jenny
