Stronger Than Yesterday

I'm a first-but-actually-final-draft kind of person. In school I would write essays on perfectly clean notebook paper, and if I messed something up and/or needed to erase I'd tear the page out and start the whole thing over. A rough draft was not an option. I expected perfection of myself every time.

What a terrible way to choose to live life. Even though school is long behind me, I've found myself living with this mentality as an adult. If something I do doesn't exceed my expectations or go off without a hitch, I'll basically scrap the idea and start new. This leaves me running in circles trying to find that ONE THING that I'll be really, really, REALLY good at.

Wait, scratch that.

I mean PERFECT at.

This year has been a year of refocus for me. A year of changing the way I think, the way I move forward in life. At the beginning of this year God brought me to Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." What are these things that are added? If you go back a few verses you'll find Jesus talking about people being concerned about what they'll eat, or how they'll be clothed. Jesus is saying that if we truly seek God first, we won't be distracted by "things" or how we think is the best way to obtain these things. Are they necessary? Yes! But our Heavenly Father takes care of these things for us when we are following the direction He has for us.

This has been 2016 for me. He told me to seek Him first.

There have been weeks that I've been distracted by the things around me; by the work, by the friends, by the relationships. This isn't to say that I'm not to do these things, but that I'm not focusing on what I'm supposed to be, I am focusing on these things. When we focus on one thing, we aren't able to focus on other things at the same time. This is what God is trying to tell us, when I focus on Him, my life comes together like a beautiful puzzle.

The 'first-but-actually-final-draft kind of person' comes out in me when I get distracted. I think, "Why bother? I screwed it up. I lost my focus. I suck at this. Now I need to start all over." And I want to be done. But God, in His ever so gentle way, tells me to refocus. He reminds me that I've learned more; that I know more. He reminds me that I'm stronger than yesterday, I'm not at square one. I've come so far in this journey and will only continue to advance.

I will continue to refocus when He ever so gently calls my name. And the more I learn to just refocus, and not beat myself up, the quicker the refocus will happen every time. I'll be able to focus on Him longer before I get distracted again. I will continue to put Him first.

I am stronger than yesterday.

Until next time,
Jenny