Living Eulogy // Kristen Verlennich

As a youth pastor, there are times that you hear people talk about how you're influencing young kids lives. As true as I know this is (I've had youth pastors who very much impacted my life), I don't think people realize how often my life is influenced by those I have the honor of having in my youth group. People don't realize that questions my youth group has raise questions for me too, pushing me to find the answers, or how watching them grow and become their own person is something that challenges me to be a better example of the type of person you should be.

I met Kristen when my brother brought her to our youth group when she was about 13. Her first time there we played the game 'Quelf' and her shy little emo self (I can say that now... right Kristen?) got so embarrassed because she had to wear red lipstick throughout the game and we didn't see her again for another year or so. She claims it had nothing to do with the lipstick... I'm not quite so sure. Thankfully, she did come back.

I'm not 100% sure what initially drew me to Kristen. It may have been her shy personality that intrigued me to get to know her more, to see who she was behind those big blue/green eyes and her sweet smile. It may have been the way she'd sit really quiet until she knew what she wanted to say was important and she'd start off softly, building more confidence as she spoke. It may have been her wonderful taste in clothing and music, listening to bands I knew in high school and college, therefore I deemed her an old soul. (I know... I'm not that old... but for reals)

Whatever it was, we bonded. She became someone I saw as more a friend than a teen in my youth group. Her drive to know God and see Him as He desires to be seen is a challenge to me every time I'm with her. She's got a smile that lights up a room, and one of the cutest laughs you'll ever hear in your life.

I've watched Kristen grow from a little emo scene kid (Kristen, I still have proof you said that... so don't try to argue me!), who didn't know who she was or what she wanted, to an amazing woman of God who is now married to the man her heart longed for. A man who treats her with kindness and grace. A man who loves her for who God created her to be.

 

I got to be a part of my sweet Kristen's wedding day this last September. My husband officiated the wedding, and my brother and I got to tell the story through photos. It was a beautiful and blessed day. One that brought many hearts together to support and love on two people who found their forever love at a young age. What a blessing to go through the majority of your life with the person God has set for you in your path at the perfect time! I'm so proud of them for pursuing God in timing and in relationship. They are two beautiful souls who have become one amazing instrument for the Lord.

Kristen, I'm so proud of you. Words cannot describe the way I feel when I think about the time I've had with you for vinyl and coffee dates, for drives to take photos, and when I watch you walk on the path God has set in front of you. You have learned how to let God guide you, and it is such a beautiful thing. I'm so so SO thankful that I could be even a small part of that. I love you so much Kristen. Thank you for being a part of my life, and for letting me be a part of yours.

Love,

Jenny

Professional photos by Jennifer Christi Photo & Video

Living Eulogy // James Huff

This week's Living Eulogy goes to a man who probably has no idea how much of a big deal he is in my life. He is someone who I've looked up to for a long time. I've appreciated his wit, his smiles and his compliments. This man would be my uncle, James Huff.

My Uncle James is someone I've always looked up to as the older brother I never had. He is so much fun to be around. He was always showing me music I'd never heard of (Beanbag, anyone?), teasing me, and always treating me like I wasn't over a decade younger than him. He would give me baseball and basketball cards and show me his ENORMOUS collection. He even gave me a gigantic stuffed purple bear that I still have in my home, now my son gets to play with it.

Uncle James & my cousin, Kourtney

James is someone who knows how to make you smile. He gets the same twinkle in his eye that my Grandpa Jim gets whenever he starts teasing or telling a little "half-truth". He doesn't always say a whole lot, but when he does, it's always worth listening to.

My uncle went through a couple rough patches in life as I was growing up, and although I wasn't old enough to truly understand, relate or really be there for him, I saw it. I saw the pain in his eyes when we were at a Thanksgiving meal surrounded by family, but without his daughter, and my grandma said, "Let's say what we're thankful for." He slowly pushed his chair back, got up and snuck out of the room without drawing any attention to himself. I saw him as he would come to family gatherings and sit in the corner of the kitchen, baseball hat on with the bill covering his eyes as he looked down, peeling a label off of a pop bottle, not saying a word... keeping as much distance as he could without getting the questions of why he wasn't there. I saw my uncle, who had once been so bubbly, fun & one of my favorite people to be around, become basically a shell any time I was around him.

I don't say this to be a downer, I say this for what's next in this post.

I saw my uncle reach out to God and grab on to Him for all it was worth. I watched as my uncle gave himself, whole-heartedly, to God. He let go of the things he was holding onto so closely in life, and let God take them. He gave God his heart and I watched as God polished that heart, softened it, and brought my uncle back to life. I saw the sparkle start coming back, I heard his laugh again, I had my uncle back!

I've watched as God has mended James into an amazing man who loves the Lord so much. A man who has surrounded himself with people who love and care for him, and who love God. I've heard my Uncle James say, "I realized I didn't have it together, and that I needed to let God have all of it. That I couldn't expect anyone else to fix me. I needed to let God fix me first, then I would be whole." I've been able to see how God brought that perfect person for my Uncle James. Not only did He bring Terra into his life, He brought two more daughters, giving my uncle a beautiful family of 5 (and now a son-in-law, as well as a granddaughter, and another grandson on the way!)

Uncle James, you are an inspiring man. You've shown me how God's love is so much bigger than any problems we face, any situations we get into, and anything we could ever come against. Thank you for always being the older brother my parents never gave me (frankly, I'm happy I get to refer to you as my big brother). Thank you for those conversations we've had, even though they're few and far between. I remember one night when I was riding with you to South Dakota, we just talked the entire way down. There was a lot of laughter, some good advice, and a lot of music. It's one of my fondest memories. Thank you for the random invitations to bonfires. Thank you for the random surprises of baked goods, or even an invite for poutine. I love and appreciate you and your family so much. You have always been a person I've felt so privileged to know and call family. Thank you for being you.

Love,

Jenny

"Thank you."

There are many times that we go through life feeling unappreciated. We feel unloved. We feel unacknowledged. We feel like we work hard and it's to no avail; in our jobs, in our home, in our day to day life.

"...In everything, in every circumstance, do to others as you would have them do to you." Matthew 7:12 (The Voice Bible)

What if we started saying 'Thank you'?

What if we said 'thank you', everyday, to the soldiers who sacrifice their lives for us on the regular, instead of only on the holidays that are devoted to them?

What if we thanked our children for the amazing and good things they do on the regular day to day, instead of only scold them when they're bad?

What if we thanked those who have been put in a position of authority over us, who choose to protect and serve us, instead of just expect them to "do their job"?

What if we thanked that random person who held the subway door open for us to get on the train, or the person who stood an extra 10 seconds to hold the door open into the gas station, instead of rushing past them because we are on a mission?

What if we randomly sent a note of thanks, or a gift, to someone who has helped mold and shape us into the people we are today, instead of just thinking they know that they are part of the reason we are who we are now?

Sometimes it's the fewest words that can make a world of difference.

If we start treating people as we want to be treated, the focus is taken off ourselves and put onto the good in others. Our perspective will change. Our attitude will change. Our lives will change.

And we will change the lives of those around us.

Tell someone "Thank you" today.

Until next time,

Jenny

Living Eulogy // Dianne Swenson

This Living Eulogy post is going to be a little different than most posts I will be sharing. This is to a woman I've met once or twice. A woman that I wouldn't know if she was in a crowd. A woman that I've never held a conversation with that last longer than a minute. A woman that I don't even have a picture of to show you.

This woman is Dianne Swenson.

This woman has changed my life.

Dianne isn't someone who is famous, or has written any sort of life changing book (that I know of). She isn't someone who has spoken at some conference that I attended. She's never even said anything to me that impacted me. (Again, this goes with the fact I've never held a real conversation with her.)

When I was 8 years old I moved to northern Minnesota, to Detroit Lakes, with my family. We began attending a church called Lakes Area Word Fellowship. This church was located in a tiny little town called Vergas. This church is lead by an amazing man of God; Larry Vosika.

My family became a part of this church and I spent the next 8 years attending Sunday and Wednesday services, prayer nights, drama team, youth group, special speakers, the list goes on. If the doors were open, my family was most likely there. Our pastor though, he was there all the time. If he wasn't there, he was out with someone from the church. He has devoted his time, love and self to the members of his church. Larry has changed the lives of many, MANY people. I'm included in that.

"Jenny, you were talking about Dianne."

Yes, yes I was.

Dianne is Larry's sister.

Every so often, you'll hear Pastor Larry talk about his sister. You'll hear him talk about how, when he was in a TERRIBLE place in life, she prayed for him. You'll hear him give credit to her for the fact that he came to know Jesus. You'll hear him talk about how she was the one who brought him to God. She was the one who showed him the love of God and loved him to Jesus.

If it wouldn't have been for Dianne, Pastor Larry would, most likely, not be the pastor at Lakes Area Word Fellowship. He would, most likely, not have impacted the hundreds and hundreds of lives that he has with the love of God. He would, most likely, not have brought so many people to God.

Dianne prayed. Dianne loved. Dianne prayed.

So often, I don't feel like prayer is enough. I think to myself, 'Well, I guess all I can do is pray.' 

What?! 

I'm learning that prayer is so much more powerful than I've ever imagined. I've begun to see, more and more, how prayer is THE ANSWER. It's never the final straw. We should be doing everything prayerfully! Philippians 4:6 & 7 says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Prayer makes such a difference. And then going that step further. Not only praying TO God, but listening too. Not only saying words to Him, asking Him for things, but allowing Him to show you what to do! Its out of those instructions that you will begin to impact the right people. You'll be love to everyone. You just might change the world.

I've recently been learning about a man named Barnabas. I was listening to an AMAZING sermon by Kris Vallotton from Bethel Church [click here to hear it yourself!] and he began talking about Barnabas.

Barnabas believed in Paul (at that time, Saul). Barnabas saw the potential that God had placed in this man named Saul. This man had killed tens of thousands of Christians (Kris compares him to a modern day ISIS), and one day Jesus appears to him and he turns from his ways, wants to get in with the apostles, and become one of them! Could you imagine the confusion? The worry? These apostles had no idea of Saul was sincere or not!

Barnabas knew.

Barnabas knew that God had a plan for him. He went with Paul and traveled with him, bringing him to the apostles and standing up for him, showing them that Paul meant what he said about his life change.

Barnabas never wrote one chapter in the Bible. However, there are 13 books in the Bible that wouldn't be there, had it not been for Barnabas.

Dianne is a Barnabas. Dianne has impacted and changed hundreds, maybe even thousands, of lives because of the belief that she had in Larry. Dianne is a world changer.

I frequently think about the people who are Barnabas'; the person that led Billy Graham to the Lord, Smith Wigglesworth's wife, the words spoken to Kenneth Hagin Sr., the love shared with Todd White. All of these people have impacted hundreds of thousands of lives, because of the one person they touched.

What a testimony. What an amazing story. What a beautiful thing.

Thank you, Dianne. Thank you for praying for your brother. Thank you for showing him the love of the God that you know so well. Thank you for seeing something more in him. Thank you for changing the lives of hundreds and hundreds of people. I know you give God the credit, but He needed a vessel to work through. Thank you for being obedient. You have made an impact.

Love,

Jenny

Living Eulogy // Robin Juni

Robin Juni is one of the most interesting, giving & sincere women I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm so very thankful I get to call her family.

Robin became "Aunt Robin" when I married Joel in May of 2009. When it comes to in-laws, I'm one blessed woman. Robin is one of the most accepting people; who made me feel like a part of the family as soon as I was Joel's girlfriend. I remember the Christmas before Joel and I got married, we were celebrating with his dad's side of the family. Robin & Dave (her hubby) gave me a necklace from Egypt. It was so thoughtful, and it spoke so much to me. If I remember right, they had gone to Egypt before Joel and I were even engaged. The fact that they had thought about me months before Christmastime, or even before I was "officially" going to be a part of the family, was just so touching.

Robin is one who is ready to help at any given moment. There have been countless times that she has offered us advice, given us amazing counsel and supported us in our many (not so conventional) journeys of life. She will always ask a lot of questions, to make SURE that you are doing what you should be doing, but it is all to really get you thinking and prepare you. Even though there may have been times that we've made her a bit uneasy in our decisions, she is alway there telling us that she supports us and is always there for us. I can't tell you how many amazing resources she has provided to both Joel and I. She is somehow able to locate a textbook for literally anything under the sun. (Granted... she is an assistant dean at a law school.) We each get a book on something very relevant to our lives every Christmas. You can tell she puts time and thought into each book that we receive. You can tell she has put a lot of time and thought into us, and what would be the best option for us this year. My love language is gift giving. I read into the gifts that I receive. I think about the thought that went into them, and I appreciate them even more when I know that it was truly a gift from the heart. Aunt Robin gives from the heart every single time she gifts something.

Joel and I went on a "Round the U.S." road trip a couple of years back and we got to stay with Aunt Robin in Washington D.C. for a couple of days. We had so much fun roaming around The Mall and some of her other favorite locations. She is quite the tour guide! We were so grateful to have that time with her, and I'll never forget our wonderful breakfast at that awesome little cafe she took us to: Table Talk. The time we spent with her in D.C. was short; but full of laughter, conversation and good memories.

Robin has a heart of gold. When you talk to her, you know that she is listening. Her body language and her engagement in conversation always makes you feel like you're being listened to. Not just listened to, but heard. I've had so many conversations with her that, even if we didn't agree, I knew she heard and respected what I had to say; she respected me as a person. I truly believe that Robin is such a respected woman, and in such a respected position, because of the respect that she gives others. 

Thank you, Aunt Robin, for being the amazing influence that you are. Thank you, for the love and respect that you give to your nieces & nephews, and to your niece "in law". You are an amazing woman who is such a beautiful influence on our lives. We have appreciated all of your help, input, love and support. Thank you for all of the questions that make us think. Thank you for all of the cards of encouragement and love. Thank you for loving Little ATJ so much, and being such an amazing great aunt. Thank you for accepting me into the family with arms open wide, and a big kiss on the cheek. You are a beautiful woman, Aunt Robin. We love and cherish you so much.

Love,

Jenny

To better understand the Living Eulogy series [click here].

Year 26.

My birthday is today.

I'm officially 27. 

Let me tell you, this year is already off to a MUCH better start than last year.

Last year, on June 30th, I was admitted into the hospital. I spent the next 7 days sitting in a hospital bed, for the second time in a 1.5 month period. 

As many know, in April of 2014, I gave birth to our amazing little boy in our home. If you haven't, and you want to, you can read about the birth story by [clicking here]. Everything went perfect. It was long... but one of the most amazing things I've ever been a part of. I'm so thankful I had that experience and will do it over again, in a heartbeat, if that is what God directs us to do with our future children.

Moments after Little ATJ was born. Just perfect.

Three weeks after giving birth to ATJ, I began to feel really, really sick. I was so sore in my abdomen, and I just believed that I was having a normal postpartum experience. This was my first baby, how was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to reel in pain if you hit a bump on the road while you're driving in the car? After two weeks of the pain getting worse and worse, along with me feeling drained to the point of needing to sleep all the time, while feeling miserable because I just wanted to be better and be with my baby, I ended up in Urgent Care. On May 25th I was admitted into the hospital. I was told I had abscesses in both of my ovaries, and that they needed to be drained.

(Just a side note; the doctors said they had no idea when or where this originated, and did not believe it was related in any way to me having a homebirth)

My amazing husband, sleeping in a chair so he could stay with me.

This is where I began to see the hand of God over me. Here I thought He'd left me out to dry... when in reality He'd been there all along. I was told, at this point, that my doctors were so surprised I hadn't gone septic; in which case I would have most likely died. When they drained my ovaries they pulled out 150mL from my right ovary, and 115mL from the other. That is over FIVE oz from one and almost FOUR oz from the other! The average ovaries range from the size of a nickel to the size of a quarter... and mine were holding about half a cup of fluid in each! Talk about the hand of God protecting me!

The doctors wanted to do a full hysterectomy. They wanted to take away my ability to have children. I know that there have been many women who have gone through this, but I knew this was not the thing for me to do. I KNEW that God told me I would birth more children, and I had no doubt in that. I declined to surgery and chose antibiotics. Although my doctor was rather skeptical, he heeded my request and only gave me the antibiotics.

I spent the week getting better and better, I couldn't BELIEVE how much better I felt. I had seriously forgotten what it felt like to feel well. It's an amazing thing when you begin to feel healthy again! Everything got back to normal & they released me from the hospital. I had some after surgery care to do, but I was SO HAPPY to be done with everything. My summer could officially begin!

One of my favorite pictures of me with my little goofball. We went and watched Daddy's soccer game!

Then, as I said when I started this post... June 30th came. I was told, when checking out of the hospital after my first visit, that I needed to make sure I didn't spike any fevers. This would imply that an infection was back and I needed to come in right away.

That day I was at my grandparents and I just felt so warm. I checked my temperature and I was at a temp of 102. I called the doctor to let them know, and they told me I needed to come in right away. We left for the clinic and I was just praying that I wouldn't need to be admitted again. It was my birthday the next day! I felt totally fine, besides this little fever. I was desperate and angry, crying out to God to make it better so I wouldn't have to be admitted and miss out on another week of summer.

Tears welled up in my eyes as my doctor said, "I'm really sorry, but I really don't think we can let you leave. We need to admit you into the hospital again." Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. Those were words to describe how I was feeling. Why? Why wasn't it gone? Did I not have enough faith? Was I doing something wrong? Why??? And seriously, WHY ON THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY???

I was thankful my sweet baby could be in the hospital with me so often. I missed him!

Again, my doctor wanted to do a hysterectomy. And again, I KNEW this was not was I was supposed to do. I told him I would do antibiotics for as long as I needed, but I did not want the surgery.

I spent the next 7 days praying and seeking God on why I was still in there. The question slowly started turning from "Why am I here?" to "What is the glory this is going to bring You?" Not because I doubted there would be glory brought to God, but because I was truly becoming excited that I was going to see some amazing things come from this. God is not the one who brought sickness upon me, the Bible says that God only gives us life, and life to the absolute fullest (John 10:10). I knew that God was going to be able to take this, and turn it around for His good (Romans 8:28). I became exceedingly excited to see what it was.

I was released from the hospital on July 7th. This time, I knew I wasn't going to be going back. I had full confidence that things were over and done with. Even if there was small traces of everything currently in my body, I would not be going back for another stay in the hospital. I would be finishing out my antibiotics and not going to anymore doctor appointments. I was through with this issue.

Taken by Joel on the day I got home from the hospital for the second time. I was so happy to be outside!

I was on antibiotics for a full 6 months before everything was cleared and I could "take the leap of faith" and go off of them. My doctor said we would just have to see if I was in the clear, or if I would need to, someday, get a hysterectomy to guarantee everything was done. He informed me that he doesn't believe I'll ever be able to have children again. He believes that my reproductive system is too damaged to even get pregnant. I'm not concerned. I've been assured by my Heavenly Father that I'll have more little ones, and I'm excited to one day send my doctor a birth announcement; thanking him for listening to me when I said I didn't want the hysterectomy.

The story doesn't end here.

A couple months back I began feeling a tenderness in my abdomen again. It was a familiar, dull pain that I recognized instantly. I knew I had something going on in my ovaries. This time though, I prayed about it and felt led to see a naturalist doctor who specializes in dealing with infections. He gave me instructions on things to cut out of my diet so that I could fully kill the infection, officially getting rid of whatever was there and knowing that they were dead and gone... not to come back. It's not a permanent diet change, but a temporary one, only to be done until the infection is gone.

Yesterday, I received an official "you are done!" from my doctor. I no longer have any infection in any of my reproductive system. I am set. I am ready to go. I can KNOW that I am cleared up. I'm not wondering if, someday, I'll begin to feel that pain again. I know that it is gone. I know that I am healed, healthy and whole.

There are so many things that I feel I'm leaving out of the story. I'll write about them, someday, if I'm supposed to. But I know this:

Last year, on June 30th, I was being admitted into the hospital for the second time, for an issue that was supposedly cleared up and done with. I had gone through a minor surgery and I had been on antibiotics for about a month already, yet none of this had fixed the issue.

This year, on June 30th, I was told I don't need to be concerned about it again. I spent 6 weeks watching what I was eating and taking natural herbs and vitamins. I know that my body is back to the way it should be. I have no doubts or questions.

God created our bodies to be amazing instruments. I found a doctor who knows how to read the signs and symptoms our bodies are giving and works with it to kill off the bad and continue to produce more of the good.

This year is off to a much better start. God has given me the gift of a beautiful testimony from something that looked so bleak. I'm able to excitedly say that I'm clean. My body is whole. I've seen God work and take care of me and my family. I'm so excited to see what's next.

Year 27, you're going to be a good one. I'm ready for you.

I know I just used this photo in another post, but it's the perfect representation of how I'm feeling about this next year.

Until next time,
Jenny

Living Eulogy // Amity Gray

Yesterday, I announced the new series that I'm starting called "Living Eulogy." To understand what this is and why I'm doing it, you can [click here]. I said I'd be doing them on Mondays, but since yesterday was the ANNOUNCEMENT day, I'm going to do a post today.

My first Living Eulogy is to one amazing woman:

Amity is one of the kindest and most gentle hearted people you could ever meet. Her smile is sincere, and her spirit is so soft. The idea of someone going without, or being in need of something, drives this woman to help out everyone she possibly can.

I met Amity when I was in high school in 2004. We would pass by one another in the hallways, but never officially introduced ourselves to one another until we worked at Subway together. We had a lot of fun during our shifts, but it was more in an acquaintance sort of way.

Fast forward to February of 2014: Amity messaged me because of something a friend had told her about, that our church does, and she wanted to get together and chat about some things. I told her I'd definitely get together and talk! Our little conversation turned into hours of amazing, in depth, discussion about God, life & what He wants to do in our lives. Since then we've started weekly get togethers to dig in deeper and seek God even more in what His plan is for us and for those around us.

As I've grown to know and love Amity more and more, I cannot help but be pushed and encouraged to follow and pursue God with the same passion and fire this woman has. If she's reading this right now, I know she is saying (with a very specific facial expression that I can picture in my head as I type), "Jenny... I'm not perfect." And my reply would be, "I know, Amity."

It's in that acknowledgement of imperfection that she allows herself to be vulnerable and open in the presence of the Lord. To see that He is the one who fulfills her, completes her, and molds her into the amazing woman of God He has planned her to be. She isn't too prideful for God to work on. She knows that she can always be moving ahead in her walk with Him and in the walk He has her on here on this earth.

Amity is married to an amazing man and has two wonderful children. The relationship that I've seen Amity & Elgin have is such a beautiful and inspiring one. They are striving to be the parents that God has intended them to be, and they are always working TOGETHER to achieve that. They support one another in ways that so few couples do, and they back one another up. They are truly a team. They know that in order to get anywhere as a family, it needs to be led by them, while they're being led by God.

One of my favorite things about Amity is definitely all the questions she asks. She'll text me randomly and just ask something like, "So, what did God mean here... I've been praying about it and I think He meant this... how do you see it?" or "I was reading the bible and I found this... what are your thoughts?" Her questions are always pushing me to dive in deeper in MY relationship with God.

This woman is an influencer. This woman is a world changer. This woman is a beautiful child of God. I'm so blessed to know her and to have a friendship with her that grows deeper and deeper in our relationship with each other and the Heavenly Father.

Thank you, Amity. 

Thank you for being you. For knowing that you are enough, and exactly who God wanted you to be. Thank you for pushing me to God. Thank you for the questions. Thank you for the conversations. Thank you for the friendship.

Love,

Jenny

And for the sake of entertainment:

This is the original face she made when I said I wanted to take a photo of her.